i had dreams. and i think i might have 3 tulpae now

All right, guys, a LOT of shit happened in my dreams last night. This is probably gonna be a really long post, but I need to share the stuff that went down because I think I may have two more tulpae I didn't know about. I can't remember everything and this might not be in the order it happened, but here we go.

I was laying in my bed when I heard a voice in my head. She addressed herself as Twilight and said she was my tulpa. We talked for a while when I glanced over into my closet (it was open and I can't STAND when my closet's open) and saw a black figure probably no more than a foot tall. It's eyes were bloodred and it jumped out of the closet. I realized it was an Umbreon, but for some reason it was REALLY pissed off and growling and shit. I tried to calm it down but it disappeared?

I woke up from that and tried to fall back asleep only to be in my kitchen in the same dream. The Umbreon was in the dining room, still red eyes, still growling. I whispered 'I love you' and it slowly approached me. It wasn't growling anymore and we hugged. I'll address Umbreon as a she, but I don't know the gender or anything.

I woke up from that and fell back asleep to be in a completely white room. It felt sort of like being in a totally white, huge box. Prussia (from Hetalia) was standing there. I can't remember much of what our conversation was but I asked him if this was inside my head and he nodded, so I think he might be a tulpa too? (I want to mention that Prussia and Twilight were both completely vocal.  Umbreon never spoke so I can't say anything about her.) Prussia and I did end up having sex. I asked him if I would remember our encounter and he said yes.

Not much other than that happened except in my dream I could sense all three of them inside my head. But this is serious and I need your help because I think I have three tulpae???

I am smelling things???

We had a quick twenty minute session yesterday that didn't yield many results. As always I found myself leaning in and out of focus. I did try a method I read about that seemed to help me from trailing off a bit.

We sat down in the snow field and she put her hooves on my head. We closed our eyes and I told her to try to make it so my thoughts stopped losing track and it did seem to help a bit, I felt a bit of pressure on my head where her hooves would be but not much else. I could also faintly smell lilacs?

Lucid Forcing

Not quite the same as Lucid Dreaming, found it as a Guide in the Tulpa.Info forums and gave it a shot. It said it's pretty easy to fall asleep and pretty unavoidable the first few times.

I visualized the snow field we had the turret/portal adventure in a while ago and then imposed Twi. She had the scarf, hat and boots she had been wearing. I began asking her questions, I can remember a few of them being Can you hear me, Are you too cold, and a few others I'm having trouble remembering. While I didn't get any actual answers, I got a few head pressures. I believe this was her!

After a while I began to zone out and when I felt I was close to falling asleep I snapped out. Actually, I was about to give up and open my eyes but I felt as if something or someone was holding me there like they didn't want me to leave.

I've been getting some responses!

Not much new has been happening recently, a few headaches here and there. I did have something on Saturday that I find interesting.

I found something on the Forums about Tulpamancing Roleplay. I started reading into it and didn't understand it so I told Twilight that we couldn't do it. I began to walk away from my computer and I simply couldn't get the idea out of my head. I think it was her telling me not to give up on it so I said we'd look back into it which will probably be either today or tomorrow.

Also as I've been watching MLP and Sherlock (I finally got Netflix on my Wii to work) I've laughed and giggled and even cried and it's been the same alien feeling. Twilight's becoming more emotionally responsive!

Emotional Reactions and Tulpae Dreams

Z-Byte Wrote:  Ha! Your visualization methods remind me of the sorts of fantasy games that I played as a child. I still let myself fall into those little adventures every once in a while. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to see if I couldn't take my tulpas on one to help them into being.

I can't remember who but I got the idea of doing video game-like adventures with my Tulpa from someone else's PR. 

A lot of things happened yesterday despite me not actually forcing. For one, last night I kept getting headache-like feelings in the back of my head. I asked if it was Twi and the feeling began to slowly fade away. I also drifted into a series of several dreams at one point, two of which were about tulpae, one of them about Twi specifically. I think it may have been her. 

About what they meant, I'm not really sure. I also had several dreams about my girlfriend (her mom doesn't like the idea of us dating since we're both girls, so things have been awkward and I haven't been able to see her in over a week.) but I mainly remember the ones with Twi. In one of them, she told me her name and some of her likes, and that her Zodiac Sign was Cancer. I'm not sure if this is her telling me something or if I was just fantasizing what it will be like once she begins communicating with me which I have done a few times.

The other dream I had that wasn't mainly focused on Twi but on Tulpae in general, I was holding a paper with seven or so Tulpae and some information on it. One was Twi and the rest of the Mane Six followed (I do want to make tulpae for Dash and Flutters but I had never thought about the others) and then some odd OC I'd never seen before. I don't remember much besides that.

Also, for most of the day today my reactions have been rather slow and I've felt sort of trippy. I haven't had anything like drugs or alcohol so it's rather strange...

Paralysis Results

I felt a numbness, a tingling in my arms and hands. I also heard a buzzing noise in my ear that was pretty constant throughout the time I focused. My fingers twitched from time to time, I never achieved a state of actual Sleep Paralysis, however. I'm going to try again when I get home from school today.

Off to paralyze myself. For science.

Spent some time at the IRC, made a new friend. He's lovely and insane and I believe we'll be friends for a long time. Anyways, off to attempt sleep paralysis.

I am going to attempt Sleep Paralysis.

Sleep paralysis is basically Lucid Dreaming. I'm tricking my brain into believing it's in a sleep-like state while still being awake. If this is successful, I should be able to only focus on my mind while being physically UNABLE to move my body. Hence, Sleep paralysis. 

I'm not scared because of NesterBones' Tulpa.Info thread and he's dabbled with Sleep Paralysis. Besides, I've lucid dreamed before. However they were nightmares so it was a horrifying experience, but this is for Twi and I'm going to put my heart and soul into it. I'll report back later.

Scarves, crowbars and Turret Fights

I wasn't able to get any emotions done last night, but something awesome did happen.

I was on my way to school (listening to music) and Zombie by The Cranberries came on, I had been forcing with my eyes open and the Void switched to a Dark Carnival Left 4 Dead setting. I grabbed a katana and Twi switched into her Anthro form and grabbed a crowbar and put a shotgun on her back. We explored and killed some things, I saved her from a Smoker.

Then a Pewdiepie remix came on and the Void switched to an Amnesia setting, which freaked me out at first since I can't play the game myself, it scares me. I can really only watch others play. After a minute, though, it changed to a large, open field that was covered in snow. I knew it wasn't my doing, I was focusing on the music. It was snowing in the real world so I asked Twi if she had wanted to experience snow for herself and I felt this positive wave of emotion come over me.

I noticed she was cold so I forced her a hat, scarf and boots. The boots were black, I was wearing black boots at the time so I'm not sure if that's the color that was on my mind or if she chose it. The hat was knitted a cotton candy blue-pink alternation as was the scarf and I'm positive this was her choosing.

A Portal 2 remix came on while we were in the field. I saw Twi mouth 'turn around' and there were turrets everywhere. I was ready for a fight but I sensed a vibe from Twi that kind of said 'this is a safe place. i don't want to fight.' Or at least around the lines of she was happy and didn't want any fighting. I forced up a sled and tossed it to Twi to use as a shield. I knew it wouldn't last so I forced a Portal gun. I shot one on the ground below us and one on a tree further off into the distance and we jumped.

I looked at her for a minute. We needed to get rid of the turrets but I didn't want to resort to violence either. I asked her if she could use her magic to make them disappear, or if she didn't want to permanately kill them to just transport them somewhere else. After a moment of hesitation she nodded and jumped back through the Portal.

I lost focus then as a bunch of kids were getting off the school buses so I just visualized her walking besides me.

All in all, I had an amazing session.

Wheatley Science

Emotions Done: Happy, Sad, Jealous, Angry, Pride, Lust, Envy
Emotions Working On: Greed, Wrath
--

We went on a little Aperture Science adventure today. I was in French and since Want You Gone was stuck in my head I changed the void to Aperture Laboratories. We fell (Twi had a Wheatley clip in her hair and I'm too lazy to put my outfit again go read the post in my .Info PR.) and I was looking for the portal gun when I lost focus.

I also wrote 'Narrate' on my hand and communicated with Twilight several times throughout the day.

My own Tulpa.Info Forums Progress Report!

I decided to make a PR on the Tulpa.Info forums so I can get support and help from other members, link is http://tulpa.info/forums/Thread-DashieFactory-s-Tulpae-Progress-Report?pid=57979#pid57979

Emotions Progress!

Emotions Done: Happy, Sad, Jealous, Angry
Emotions Working On: Pride

Going to take this one emotion at a time until we wipe out the seven sins, after that I don't plan to spend any more time on personality as I want her to grow and change without feeling... for lack of a better term with a 'preset' personality.

I imagined a carpet and a cream-colored couch in the void. (Not sure if this was puppeting but I'm assuming it was her! Stay positive right? c:) Twilight padded over to the couch and jumped up and layed down, curled up in the corner of the couch. She occasionally yawned and stretched while I was talking. She seems to have a bit of a laidback personality but hey, that might just be my imagination :/

I did lose focus a few times, other things would pop into my head, mainly Pewdiepie videos (I did only spend five hours watching his videos today.) but for the most part I tried to stay focused on Twilight.

This might be planning too far ahead into the future but once Twilight is vocal (maybe even imposed. I dunno, might wait on imposing her into the real world as that can take months.) I plan on making tulpae for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.

PS. I asked Twilight to wake me up at 6 in the morning so we'll see if that works!

MINDVOICE!!

I was reading Fennec's Tulpa journal in the Tulpa.Info forums when I felt a... slight pounding feeling on the top left corner of my head. It didn't feel like a headache, so I stopped reading and sat still for a minute and then asked "Twilight, is that you?" I heard a faint whisper (I could just barely make it out) that sounded like 'yes...' after a moment I asked again and got a more clear 'Yes.'

I don't know if it was me parroting or not but I'm convinced it was her and I'm really excited! c:

Emotion checklist

Emotions We've Done - Happy, Sad, Jealous
Emotion We're Working on- Anger, Pride

I tried a passive forcing session while showering but I kept getting off-topic and distracted, so that's not the best course of action. I'm going to force later and we're going to wrap up anger and possibly move on to the first of the Seven Sins, Pride. I don't know though. I kind of want to try and get Twi to change the void into something and go on a wonderland adventure :3 That does require her deciding to change it, though, and I won't push her if she doesn't want to.
We also need to work on laughter but we'll do that later.

I think it's getting better!

The 'pill soul' thing. I kind of got it off Soul Eater, how the resonance of souls makes you stronger and whatnot. I did it again. This time I took a minute to close my eyes and visualize me pulling Twi's spirit out of her body and into the pill. The spirit was white and as you got closer to the edge it faded into her body/fur color (light purple) and then to a gradual more darker purple. It was actually easier than it ever had been to swallow the pill.

I also did a forcing session last night, started out with the two of us in the void (I'm keeping the void empty until she changes it to something, I've told her she can change it as much as she likes to whatever she likes because fuck wonderlands.) and I started going over personality traits. I know I got happy, sad, and jealous done. I think I fell asleep after that (a midnight forcing session with no caffiene laying under two blankets really isn't the best idea.) but I can't remember.

When I woke up this morning I told Twi I was sorry and promised I would try my best to not fall asleep during the next session.

PS. I don't know if this is her or not but I'm going to assume it is/was. I was watching Pewdiepie earlier and the alien laughter returned. I believe it's her and if so I love her sense of humor!

I thought of something pretty nifty...

For anyone who's heard of the Placebo Effect, I've kind of taken that into my uses with making Twi. I have to take ADHD pills each night, and I hate them. If my mom didn't remind and then watch me take them each day, I wouldn't. However, tonight when going to take my pill, I had a strange idea.

I'm going to believe that the pills strengthen my connection and bond with Twi, and make it easier to concentrate and force in the Wonderland. This way, I'm more willing to take the medicine.

When I took the pill out, I imagined Twi's energy flowing into it and when I swallowed the energy transferred into me. Several minutes later, when playing with my dog, I was laughing but it wasn't really me laughing. It felt alien, and I'm convinced it was her.

I believe the energy pill method may be useful in terms of possession too, for when we're ready for that. I could imagine Twi's energy, spirit and soul are in the pill and take it and see if that helps with posession. We're nowhere near ready for it, but hey, it's a thought.

Milestone tomorrow!

I got my computer back so updates should be back on once a day or so. Hopefully. I haven't had time for any hypnosis sessions although yesterday when I was waiting for my girlfriend I did start playing the FemV Twilight No BGM file and didn't feel anything. I was freezing and leaning uncomfortably on a mailbox, however, so I wasn't expecting anything.

I am planning a Pony Ears play tonight so I'll let you know how that goes.

Also, I'll be a week into my tulpaforcing tomorrow! I'm so happy. I haven't gotten any kind of response from Twi but just knowing almost a week has gone by is kind of inspiring in itself. I'm gonna be on the IRC, forums and subreddit later to get some tips and try some stuff.

Hmmm...

I'm considering doing two Tulpa sessions a day, one when I get home from school and one when I go to bed, probably before my hypnosis sessions.

I'll try to update daily, however due to the grounding this might not be possible; when something big happens I'll be sure to let you know.

Wonderland Progress

Tulpa: I was able to try another tulpaforcing session last night. I focused on what I want the Wonderland for Twi and I to be. I thought of the old dock at this campground I used to visit and how it would be perfect. I also made a room for Twi, currently the only things in it are a bed with a bedside lamp next to it, a bookshelf with some of my favorite books that I think she'll enjoy and a TV. As she begins communicating with me I'll be able to add more.

I also talked a bit about her personality. We're forming some basic traits as of now.

Hypno: I didn't have time for a session last night. Actually, I did, but I spent that time on the IRC and then tulpaforcing so I didn't. I've been craving to try the Pony Ears file, however I'm grounded and won't be able to get the files until sometime next week.

Life: My girlfriend and I are going dress shopping for the dance on Friday. She's wearing a tuxedo so we need to find me a dress... sigh, I have a feeling that won't go very well. We'll see.

Some Tulpa / Hypnosis stuff

Tulpa: Yesterday I decided to begin to try to create a Twilight Sparkle tulpa. I began with Passive Forcing, just talking and sending thoughts to her. I made it clear that she can change anything about her whenever she'd like if there's something she wants to change.

I attempted a real Forcing session today with Binaural Beats and found myself losing focus. I've only been passive forcing.
Question!
Will that affect my overall tulpa progress speed and such? I have ADHD, and although I take medication for it, my mind doesn't like to stay focused on one thing for long.


Hypnosis: I've been dabbling in Pony Hypnosis as well. My closest Mane Six personality-wise is Twilight so I tried that file. I felt a tingling sensation in my arms and chest as well as a slight phantom sensation where her horn would be. I believe I'll do this every night around 10:30 or 11 PM EST for about a week. I also want to give Pony Ears a try; if I don't see decent affects from the files then I'll try warming up beforehand with a Blank Mind file or two.

Well, I've got an English Collage due tomorrow and a French assignment that's four days overdue.